Strength of Spirit (A Reflection by Kendall)

Underlying the grief, there is an overwhelming feeling of gratitude. I was lucky enough to be considered one of Brandi’s “peeps” for twelve wonderful years. We met in 1996, as co-workers at Borders Books in downtown Seattle. There was a bond, almost instant. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it at that early stage, but I knew she was unlike anyone else I’d ever known, and I was pretty sure she was going to be an important part of my life. Years later, she told me that she felt we were kindred spirits. I could not have been more honored.

I moved away from Seattle for a few years, and because of my atrocious correspondence habits, it’s a small miracle that we managed to stay in contact while I was away. I must attribute that almost entirely to Brandi’s persistence. I was fairly astonished to receive hand-written letters from her, and it dawned upon me that once she had established a connection with someone, she was not likely to let it slip away. If you meant something to Brandi, she made sure you knew it. “You’re stuck with me,” she once said to me, and I was elated.


On the eve of Brandi’s departure for yet another stint on “the ice” (Antarctica), I asked her why she was going. Again. She didn’t seem too interested in coming up with a list of reasons. Reflecting on it later, it struck me that “why?” was not amongst B’s favorite questions. There had been other occasions on which I had posed it, and it had almost always been met with a half-hearted attempt, at best, to satisfy my request for a logical explanation. And it occurred to me that it really wasn’t a very important, or even interesting, question. Brandi provided me with so many insights, simply by being herself. She did what she was called to do; the strength of her spirit impelled her as she moved through this world, and it was beautiful to behold.

Goodbye, dear friend.

more pics from kendall

Pictures taken at a goodbye gathering at Six Arms in Seattle, just as B was about to move to Maine.

Thanks for sharing, Kendall!

Brandi and Mary ... the biker grandmas. (a memory from Mary)

I met Brandi shortly after I had moved to Seattle. I had very few friends, was getting over a recent heartbreak, and was in need of a good friend. Brandi and Katie came to Hours Eyes on Broadway, where I worked as an Optician. Brandi needed new glasses and so we worked together for quite a little while; chatting while we tried different styles. I remember she was quite particular about not only the appearance, but also the strength of the temples (the arms of the glasses). She explained that she rode a motorcycle and would repeatedly be putting pressure on the glasses. As soon as I shared the fact that I had a motorcycle as well, and understood her concern, we were instant buddies. We set up a day and time to have our very first (with many more to come) bike rides together.

Brandi and I were not the typical biker chicks- we called ourselves "grandmas" because we were uncharacteristically careful while we rode. Some of our friends enjoyed the risk of being on 2 wheels-and we did share the desire to be rebels-but we more appreciated the "oneness" of being on the open road without the visual limitations of a car. You don't realize how much you miss in the confines of a car until you sit in a saddle of a motorcycle. I am hoping that pictures of us with Dykes on Bikes at Seattle gay pride will surface in some of my boxes. Such great memories.

Over the years, our lives took us different places. I remember when Brandi left Seattle and how empty I felt when she had gone. Seattle wasn't the same without her and I left shortly after as well. She was in Portland, Maine and I was in Lewes, Delaware but we still managed to see each other quite regularly, whether it was me driving up to Portland, or her flying to see me in Delaware, or meeting in the Big Apple for some play time. We saw each other more than I saw my own family, and I'm even pretty close with my family. Brandi visited me in each and every apartment that I lived in since she knew me, and I can't even say that for my family. She was my family.

I know all of us wish we had the chance to say good-bye. I am struggling with this because we had not spoken in nearly 2 years. We would reconnect someday, but now it is too late for this lifetime. I pictured us as little old ladies on the porch of some old house, enjoying our memories together over lemonade, or maybe Bushmills. You will always be in my heart, Brandi, and you never left.

Memorial service for Brandi in Seattle

I met Brandi in the fall of 1988. I had accepted a volleyball scholarship to the University of Idaho and had moved from the Seattle area to live in the cold, concrete dorms of Moscow, away from family and friends for the first time in my life. It was U2 that brought us together. I had "Boy" cranked on my stereo and Brandi, shocked that there was another person in Idaho who was actually familiar with U2's first album, poked her head into my room to see who this freaky person was. From there, we became fast friends. We spent many hours hanging out at her dad's house in Moscow, listening to music, drinking (Brandi's drink of choice then was Bacardi) and just being young and stupid (except Brandi still managed to get decent grades...go figure). After one frozen winter, I hightailed it out of Idaho, back to Seattle, with Brandi in tow. Seattle became her home base from then on. Over the years, our lives took us on different paths, but we never lost touch. No matter how much we changed or how far apart we were, we could always pick back up from where we left off when she'd find her way back to Seattle. She was like a sister to me in many ways.

We are planning a memorial service for Brandi in Seattle on Sunday, Dec. 28th at 2:00 at the Graham Visitor's Center in the Seattle Arboretum (2300 Arboretum Drive E Seattle, WA 98112). Please see http://depts.washington.edu/wpa/directions.htm#I5 for directions. We have the space reserved until 5:00 for people to spend time reflecting and celebrating Brandi's life. Afterward, anyone who is interested can join us for food and drinks at The Wild Rose on Capitol Hill, one of Brandi's regular hangouts. I look forward to seeing and meeting many of you there.

The Poet Game

My Road

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-

Road spirit

for creativity

-

Road wide

for individualism

-

Road narrow

for intimacy

-

Road glow

for noticeability

-

Road warmth

for comfort

-

Road chill

for awareness

-

Road bump

for variety

-

Road speed

for thrill

-

Road map

for clarification

-

Road danger

for growth

-

Road red

for higher power

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Road trip

for life

-

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by Brandi Fairchild - March 1995

Ice friends

I met Brandi in Antarctica in November 1998. I remember the fun and the laughs we had together along with a whole bunch of girls who were working there too. Then after her Winter over, her and Bev and Mistie stayed at my house in New Zealand by the beach and cooked up a storm having not been able to cook for themselves for so many months. They spent hours in the store trying to remember what to buy and how! But I just remember Brandi’s good company, good stories and heaps of laughter. Although we haven’t been in touch for some years now – it is so sad to hear of her passing and I hope that she’s in peace. Shul Gordon

Line 'em Up

Since 1993 it has been a tradition on Thanksgiving to empty wine bottles and line 'em up for all to see. We always seemed to do a pretty good job.....I'm pretty sure our record was 13 (which just happens to be B's lucky number). This Thanksgiving we were not able to all be together on Turkey Day proper, so we celebrated a week early. Once again, Brandi lined 'em up in fine form.

Did Somebody Say Popcorn?

Anyone who knew Brandi knows how she felt about popcorn.....

She couldn't get enough of it and ate it every chance she got. And none of that microwave crap for her, either.... she wouldn't touch that stuff. She made it the good old fashioned way; on the stovetop, with lots o' fresh melted butter and even more salt.

When I first met her and we decided to go see a movie together we made it to the theater, got the most ginormous bucket of popcorn they offered and found our seats. She then proceeded to whip out her very own travel salt shaker. Yes, she brought her own salt to the movies for popcorn! If she ever forgot her shaker, she would make us stop into the nearest eating establishment and 'borrow' some salt, wrap it up in a little napkin, stuff it into her pocket to save for later use at the movies.

Man, she really loved popcorn.

The Solstice Elf

Brandi was not much for Christmas, but celebrated the Solstice with great gusto. In her world, there was no room for Santa....only the Solstice Elf. Gifts given and received, wrapped up with pretty bows that inevitably ended up stuck to her head. Last year she initiated my son into a great Brandi tradition, telling him.... "this is just how we roll".

B at Baker Lake

Brandi at Baker Lake in 1994 and again in 2008. It was one of her favorite places and she remained in awe of the beauty she found there

Chillin' in Cabo with B, B, D and A

The picture is of Brandi and Amber visiting us at the ME Cabo.







Danielle and I met up with Bev, Amber and Brandi in Cabo San Lucas this past January (08). For me, vacationing with friends is a testament to the strength of our relationships and makes me feel, well, 'grown up'. I hadn't hung out with these pals all together at the same time since Maine 2004. I very much looked forward to this trip to Cabo.

With this group of girls, I knew it would be all about catching up, hanging out on the beach and enjoying each other's company -- with a few touristy things thrown in. In true Brandi fashion, she made fast friends with a guy who owned a taco stand in town where the best food was to be had (no doubt it was). I never got to that taco stand with Brandi and Amber but we still managed to enjoy "Dos para uno" at a few beachside bars, get some pool time, talk about what's going on in our lives and most importantly, we made each other laugh and laugh. The only disappointment was that I wished our time together could have been longer.

Pride

Brandi was a life-long learner. When she returned to school, it was not without some nervousness. She blew the doors off the place, of course.

When she graduated, she was surrounded by so many friends and family. Many had traveled across the country to be there. A joyful graduation party migrated into late night karaoke at the local bowling alley with most of the original crowd attending. And I believe someone sang, "Brandi" as well.

For as much love as we poured out of ourselves and onto Brandi that day-and all the others-Brandi gave it back in spades. She always had so much love for her friends and family.

I was so proud of her that day.

Maine

B loved autumn in Maine.

She'd collect fallen leaves and turn them into poetry. And she did this for her friends. I still have a tiny leaf she mounted and wrote underneath, "Every leaf a miracle." And then the one with "love" written right on it.

I know others have B leaves. She loved to share beauty with those she cared about.
-BG

Porch time

We spent a lot of time out on the back porch that visit. Overloading the girls with too-much-mint mojitos and just laughing. Always laughing.

Pals

B always had the most interesting turns of phrase. Pals, peeps, my people. That's how she called her friends.

When B and I moved out East from Seattle, Amber and Cooper (I think she was still Maire back then) came to visit us during the summer. We all had the best time together, even from the very beginning of our friendship. Breakfast that morning at the Cadillac. "Do you want some more hair on your chest?"

I wish we had the option for making more memories together.
-BG

She loved the rain

B loved the rain. Maybe that's why she was so at home in Seattle.

When we traveled to New Orleans for JazzFest one year, we were caught in a sudden downpour that had people ducking into shops and under awnings. Rivers of water flowed down the streets and the gutters could not contain the storm's fury.

B relished it all.
-BG

The Sage Connection

When it became clear that her beloved Sage was about to leave this earth, Brandi called me to come over to her apartment and we spent some time saying goodbye to him. Her love of this curmudgeonly cat was apparent to anyone who knew Brandi. It lives on through the work of her non-profit, Sage Connections. (www.sageconnections.org) - BG

Photos

Here are some pictures sent to me from friends of B. Keep them coming !

These two are from Josie taken when Brandi lived in Portland, Maine.






Brandi loved her bike !

From Our Hearts

Brandi was a pretty special person and a wonderful friend. Over the past few years, she and I weren't as close as we used to be when we both lived in the same city but that hasn't dulled the amazing memories I have of our friendship. Seeing Joan Armatrading in concert at the Portland Zoo, potato quesadilla's at the Mexican restaurant on Broadway, cat-sitting for Sage, Tom's chips and sour cream after a night at the Rose, drinks at Tobasco's on the beach in Cabo San Lucas. These are a just a few very cool experiences I shared with Brandi.

Please use this post to add your thoughts and memories of our friend, Brandi. Add them as a comment. If the comment box isn't displaying, click the link labeled "comments" right below this posting to get to it. You don't have to sign in to add a comment and they can be anonymous. Write what you are feeling, what you are remembering, what you're thinking...whatever your process.

We do love our kitties

This is Brandi and I at the 1st annual Sage Connections Rummage Sale Fundraiser Extravaganza (not the official title) earlier this year. This was a happy time. After struggling to find some direction, like so many of us do, Brandi had finally figured out what she wanted to do and how she wanted to spend her life. Not an easy thing to do for anyone. She spent countless hours working to get her non-profit off the ground and this was just one of the fundraising efforts that took place. 

 

When I first met B, 8 or so years ago I was struck by her compassion for people and her devotion to the feline kind. I didn't know her well back then and my first thoughts as she gathered cigarettes and tiny booze bottles to give to the homeless peeps on the street at Christmas time were, she crazy. Now it seems like the perfect thing to do. 

 

When I went to her place for the first time and every time thereafter I was floored by the exaggerated greeting and subsequent love fest that transpired with Sage, her feline friend. Witnessing this, I felt that the relationship I had with my own kitty, although spoiled rotten and truly loved, needed improving upon. She made me want to be better. Forever after that I am reminded of her when I take that little bit of extra kitty time. I thank her for that, as do my future furry friends I’m sure.

 

She was a good friend. I will miss her a whole bunch. 

From the Idaho Press Tribune

http://www.idahopress.com/community/obits/?obitid=1391

Thanksgiving 2001

Last year, as Thanksgiving neared, I reminded B that one of the BEST Thanksgivings that I ever had was one I shared with her and two of her friends. To this day, 7 Thanksgivings later, that still holds true ! Brandi, Dena, Kendall and I got together and cooked a vegetarian feast ! It was remarkable. We were amazed at what we all had created. The food was delicious, the wine was tasty and the company was fabulous. It was a fantastic way to spend the holiday.

I thought I had a picture of the table with the spread of food but I can't find it. I'll put this pic up instead, of the two of us, probably after a couple of plates of veggie loaf and a few glasses of wine.

the good stuff

Most of us have shared a sip or two of Bushmills with B.

cheers

How I met Brandi

I had just moved to Seattle and I wasn't liking it very much. To be fair, I didn't know anyone in Seattle and all of my friends and my gf were in Vancouver, B.C. I went back to Vancouver whenever possible to get more of my things and see friends.

It was a Thursday or Friday evening and I was desperate to get back to Vancouver for the weekend. At the train station, I was told a fire on the tracks had delayed the Vancouver bound train and they didn't know for how long. I asked the ticket person where the bus station was and was given very vague directions (I guess they didn't want me to go to the competition ? ) . Brandi and Robyn were standing behind me in line -- B was buying her own ticket to Vancouver for the following day -- and heard what happened. As I stood in the lobby of the train station, trying to figure out where the Greyhound station was, Brandi and Robyn approached me and started talking to me. They told me that they would wait for the bus with me and get me to the bus station. I couldn't believe how friendly they were, taking time out of their night to help me. Anyone who knows Brandi will know this is typical Brandi- behavior - she was always helping out someone in need.

Well, the bus never came but a cab did and we all hopped in. They dropped me off at the bus station as they headed up to Capital Hill . Did I mention the part where they wouldn't take any of my money? I told them where I worked and gave them a promise that I'd buy them a drink for being so freakin cool and nice. Brandi said she would come find me at the branch library where I worked. I figured this was just a random meeting with some awesome people in a big city and we'd never see each other again. What are the chances, right ? But, this is Brandi we're talking about here and, clearly, we were supposed to meet. A couple of weeks later, I ran into her at the ticket booth in the Broadway mall where she worked. I couldn't believe it ! This was more than a coincidence. Our fate was sealed... we had found each other afterall . Our friendship was a certainty.

Brandi was one of very few people I knew in Seattle for the first 6 months I lived there. She introduced me to tons of people, showed me the city, invited me to join her for dinner and drinks, let me experience Sage smelling my eyebrows, and basically made me part of her family without any hesitation. Amazing. That was 8+ years ago. I knew from the start of our friendship that she would be a lifelong pal and I wasn't wrong.

In Maine with my peeps -- Summer 2004

(Amber, Brandi, Bev -- I'm taking the picture)

The reason I started this blog

I started this blog because I have all of these great memories and pictures of Brandi and I wanted a way to share them.